Although I made a number of goals for January, my overarching goal has remained my personal challenge to myself to get up when I need to get up. By that I mean, to make a decision re time the night before, set the alarm, and get up when it goes off.
So far, I suck at this.
Most days, I have woken up in enough time to still get my 5 minutes of free writing in and my run (if planned). BUT not once have I actually gotten my butt out of bed when my alarm actually goes off. And even on the days I get up shortly thereafter, I have still be struggling! Today was a prime example.
I really want to start getting up at 5 a.m. regularly. That gives me a solid chunk of time in the morning to get my exercise in, writing, praying, etc. These are things that simply don't get done (or not consistently) unless I make them a priority fist thing. I know that it will be easier if it's the same time every day (i.e. not only run days, etc).
There is a glaring flaw in this plan. Five a.m. comes at 5 a.m. every day. And that's e.a.r.l.y. people. Five a.m. feels particularly early when you don't plan ahead and get to bed early enough the night before. Vicious cycle.
There is a glaring flaw in this plan. Five a.m. comes at 5 a.m. every day. And that's e.a.r.l.y. people. Five a.m. feels particularly early when you don't plan ahead and get to bed early enough the night before. Vicious cycle.
Anyhoo, alarm went off today at 5:05 or thereabouts. I snoozed and eventually turned it off. I laid there in the dark a few minutes more, holding my phone and even wearing my glasses (to encourage me not to drift back off), dreading getting out of bed. I finally do, and shuffle to the bathroom. 5:23. Bah. Oh well, plenty of time. I s.l.o.w.l.y. get dressed, put my contacts in, etc. I check my email on my phone, read a Facebook message. Anything to avoid going out in the cold.
5:44. I finally drag myself out of the bathroom and sit down for my 5 min free writing. It's kind of depressing. Just not feeling it this morning. 5:53 I finally lace up, grab Perry's leash and head out into the cold. He's thrilled, I'm not. I forgot to put on my Yaktrax and the road is slick. I'm immediately slipping and sliding. Half mile in, I'm done. Nothing hurts, I'm not sucking wind. I just do not want to be out there. I'm cold, cranky and DONE. So then... I quit. I actually just went home, peeled off the running layers and got back into bed. Blech.
I'm not proud of this - just keeping it real. I'm frustrated with myself. I have some big desires for this year, things I want to work for, yet I'm not yet willing to put the time in to get there. I know what some will say, but I don't think I'm pushing too hard.I don't need a break (I've had one). I'm not putting too much on my plate. Frankly, it's a lack of discipline and simply being "out of practice." I can't expect to spend 2 months basically getting up at the latest moment and then BAM be able to turn it all around overnight. So, I'm working on giving myself some grace, but not giving up on my goal...
I will tell you what I AM proud of though. Despite my rough morning, I did get my run in over lunch! I did about 4.5 miles, making the day an even 5 (I get credit for that cold 1/2 mile this morning!). I wore my Altras for the first time since my rotten New Years Eve run. I am still not fully transitioned and I still had some tingling and numbness after 2 miles. Ideally I would have taken them off and finished the run in other shoes (not practical at work). Instead, I took time to stretch out my calves and to walk it off. Aside from the tingling feet, I felt good and strong. Not particularly fast (not that the icy sidewalks would permit it) but I wasn't huffing and puffing. I'm getting there. I'm remembering WHY I want to get up at 5 a.m., why I would even consider another marathon, why I'm doing this.
I'm not proud of this - just keeping it real. I'm frustrated with myself. I have some big desires for this year, things I want to work for, yet I'm not yet willing to put the time in to get there. I know what some will say, but I don't think I'm pushing too hard.I don't need a break (I've had one). I'm not putting too much on my plate. Frankly, it's a lack of discipline and simply being "out of practice." I can't expect to spend 2 months basically getting up at the latest moment and then BAM be able to turn it all around overnight. So, I'm working on giving myself some grace, but not giving up on my goal...
I will tell you what I AM proud of though. Despite my rough morning, I did get my run in over lunch! I did about 4.5 miles, making the day an even 5 (I get credit for that cold 1/2 mile this morning!). I wore my Altras for the first time since my rotten New Years Eve run. I am still not fully transitioned and I still had some tingling and numbness after 2 miles. Ideally I would have taken them off and finished the run in other shoes (not practical at work). Instead, I took time to stretch out my calves and to walk it off. Aside from the tingling feet, I felt good and strong. Not particularly fast (not that the icy sidewalks would permit it) but I wasn't huffing and puffing. I'm getting there. I'm remembering WHY I want to get up at 5 a.m., why I would even consider another marathon, why I'm doing this.
 |
| [post-run] |
Because, at the end of the day, I love the run.
 |
| [Image Source] |
um, i do the same thing EVERY morning. except when i eventually do get out of bed, i don't journal or run :)
ReplyDeletei don't know how you run when it's this cold, my lungs always feel like bursting. i switched to Zumba in the evenings instead!
I hate mornings. With a passion. The only time I'm good about getting up to workout is in the summer because I know it will be too hot later and that there is actually light even at 5 am. In the winter, the dark and cold are too hard to deal with.
ReplyDelete