This Valentines Day ... Love Wins

 

Happy Valentines Day!  Mark surprised me by calling me at work yesterday afternoon to ask me out. :) It was our first time away together since Jhon's been home and even a short time away was nice. The kids were thrilled - mac n' cheese and chicken nuggets? Screen time on a school night! Score.  We left around 6 and they were all showered, homework done. A new record. 

We've never been really big on celebrating Valentines Day with the kids before. They get so much stuff at school and whatnot, that I usually just make pink pancakes and call it good. But we decided to do a little more this year. Mark said that he wanted them to think of it as a day to be with people you love, your family, rather than a chocolaty -romantic holiday to get all worked up about. What a great lesson from your dad. :) 

So we made some little cards with their names and hearts and (of course) glitter, let them have Pop Tarts and candy for breakfast, decorated the table with some flowers. Even this really small gesture had a big affect. They were all smiley.  Loved it.  Then I took 3 of them for their well child exams. Nothing says love like shots right? But it went okay. They were happy to head off to school to celebrate their "100th Day" and have a Valentines party in the afternoon. Fun fun. 

[My over-zealous trip to the library!]

Also, last night I finished up a book that I also wanted to mention titled, appropriately, Love Wins. I picked up this book on a total whim at the library last week. I've heard of the author, Rob Bell, since he is (was) a pretty famous pastor from our area. But we've never attended his church and (I'll admit) I was never particularly interested (in the church or the book). But I decided to give it a shot. I didn't know much about the book other than it was considered rather controversial and I heard he took a beating from a lot of Christians. 

Upon digging into the first chapter, the first thing that jumped out at me was the style. It is composed of a lot of little paragraphs, more free-flowing and conversational than books typically are. It almost read more like a sermon than a book. This turned me off at first, but once I got used to it, the style actually made for a very quick read. 

The book touches on a few hot button issues with Christianity such as heaven and hell and the traditionally accepted ways that you end up in one or the other. I hesitate to get into the content of the book too much. For one, I don't feel like being yelled at.  Two, I think it's helpful to go into it with an open mind (at least I'm glad that I did).  Here's a bit of a summary of the book that I found online though, which provides some insight into its controversial nature:

"The main issue discussed in Bell's recent interview regards Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, in which the former pastor questioned the existence of hell and the evangelical teaching that only those who believe in Jesus Christ go to heaven."

I will say this. Regardless of what you believe - and whether you find Bell's arguments persuasive or inflammatory - its a book that just might make you think. Might make you ask questions about doctrines that have been accepted as true for hundreds of years. Bell offers Biblical support, including discussions of some very well-known parables. I have asked Mark to read it, as I think it would be a good discussion point for us, especially as we work to shape the faith-focus of our family.   

I will also say that I really liked the book. I think Bell has a knack for capturing the power, the omnipresence of God, but never minimizing His complete and utter love for us. And, as Bell himself says, "[N]one of us have cornered the market on Jesus, and none of us ever will."

 

Lent... and letting go.

Today is Ash Wednesday.  I grew up in a Catholic family and observed the Lenten season for many years. It has been awhile since I've considered myself a Catholic, but only a few years since I have stopped acknowledging the "rules" of Lent (i.e. many years of Friday tuna fish lunches, etc!).  However, today I  completely forgot it was Ash Wednesday until about an hour ago - after eating a leftover enchilada (with ground turkey).  Sigh. Ah well, pretty sure God will forgive the turkey.

But I digress.

I have been thinking about Lent more this year than I have in awhile.  Maybe it's just where I am at right now, but I know I *need* something and it must come from God. Despite knowing that, I have been struggling to get close to Him, finding excuses to make everything else the priority. As anyone could guess, that has simply caused a vicious cycle and left me feeling... just off.

So.

What better time than Lent than to take steps toward God? To stop being so off and find a way back on again.

Usually during Lent, people give up luxuries, things like sweets or social media. Some form of penitence (I've given up pop and chocolate too many times to count!). This year, I'm working on giving up control. I spoke a little about control here, and although I do want to avoid micromanaging my family, what I am speaking about now is more about more generally giving up control to God. Trying less to get my ducks in a row (or a tight military formation!) and more about trusting. Not hoarding my fears and worries, but giving them up to the only One who can really do anything about them. 

It's about giving up the ugliness inside, letting it out; instead of trying to bury it and hide it and keep it for my own. It's about not having it all together - not pretending to have it all together - and not needing to have it all together. And appreciating the many blessings I have, whether I have it all together or not!

I'm still brainstorming what this might mean for the next 40(ish) days. I expect journaling, self reflection (perhaps some here, plenty privately).  I have a few books I want to read.  And prayer.

[Side bar:  Here's a confession - I find praying really hard. I get distracted. It's always been difficult for me to imagine this direct line with God in a way that makes prayer a natural conversation. One way I want to tackle this is to commit to at least one unplugged run a week - no music, no audio book. Just my thoughts or lack thereof. I am fairly confident that I will start talking to myself, which seems a good lead in to prayer. :) End side bar]

Since February is already half over and I never actually sat down and gave myself some goals, I'm not going to. I'm going to work on this. I'm going to work on letting go...

Something New Adoptive Parents Should Know...

As a sort of follow up to my musings yesterday, I have been thinking about an offshoot topic.

First, I read a great blog post yesterday that every adoptive parent (or friend or family member of an adoptive family) should read. "After the Airport" is a great summary of how a truly wonderful thing (adoption of your child) is not an easy thing. In fact, it can be terribly sad and frustrating and scary and ... exhausting, especially at first. I truly don't remember much of the first three months after Hana and Abi joined our family.  There was just so much adjusting for all of us. They were learning a new language and how to live in a family and we all had size adjusting to do. It was honestly a really, really hard time. Was I happy to have my kids home. YES YES YES. Would I do it again? Obviously, I've done it twice more.  But it was hard.

Right around that 3 month mark, things eased up. Hana and Abi had learned quite a bit of English, so communication issues were less fierce.  We were all settling in and learning about each other.  It was at that point that we finally felt like we were capable of parenting another and we decided to pursue Selam's adoption. 

I don't know if I've really blogged about it too much, but we had to jump through quite a few hoops to get approved to adopt Selam. A couple of major issues were our age (we were pretty young to parent an almost-teen), the fact that she would be our oldest child (major birth order disruption), and that it had been less than a year since our last adoption.  The last issue was quickly waived due to the fact that Hana and Selam are siblings.  I remember dismissing it as an issue myself, at the time.  We were ready. Hana and Abi were doing great. We could handle it.

And all of those things were true. All still are true.

But what I have only recently realized is that no matter how "fine" things are after 3 months, 12 months or 5+ years... it's not ever quite fine. The honeymoon period might last you only hours, but it could last years. You may have no idea what kind of underlying trauma has affected your kids before they were part of your lives. You don't know how various parts of their past - a past they may not remember - has formed and shaped their little hearts and souls.  You can't know because they don't know.  These scars run deep, but are often hidden for some time. It may take years and years before your child will trust you - if ever.  Yes, you have to be prepared that your baby may never truly trust you, as heartbreaking as that would be. Because that's reality for some.

All this may affect your child's personality, their academic performance, their most basic brain functions and sense of reason. And their hearts. Always their hearts. 

And although the first three months are tough tough tough and full of adjustment, time does not necessarily make things easier, but different. Less about triage, about putting out fires, and more about doing everything you can to help them heal inside and out. And this is an ongoing process.  

Any adoptive parent that tells you otherwise is lying - to you or themselves or both. I don't care if your child was 2 days old when they joined your family, she suffered trauma. I don't care how many times your son has been on the honor roll - somewhere, he's probably hurting and needs your help. 

I don't say this to dissuade people from adopting. On the contrary, we have now adopted four times and although I don't plan on doing so again, I learned that I will "never say never." But I have also learned that I cannot just look at my family now and think "oh sure we could do it again" or "they are all adjusting so well, we could handle another" or "there is not need for therapy, everyone is so well adjusted!" Because trauma and grief simply don't work that way. Don't be complacent. They may need you (and need to heal) as much 5 or 10 years after homecoming as much as they did at 5 months... and maybe more.

What Every New Parent Should Know

I've been thinking a lot about parenting lately. I guess that's what six kids will do for you. ;)  I'm at an age where many of my peers are pregnant with #1 or #2, cuddling newborns, or sleep deprived and chasing after toddlers.  I expect that some envy us with 2 kids at a babysitting age and the others old enough to function without constant supervision.  After all, we must have it pretty easy now! 

And I'll admit it - it is pretty nice.  I tend to get woken up more frequently by my dogs these days than I do by my kids!

But this parenting thing - is it easier?  Ummm... nope.

Those first few years slip by faster than you can believe.  One moment, you are examining those almost-translucent eyelids while your sweetheart snoozes through his third nap of the day.  The next, your dressing him up for his first day of school. Before you know it, it's time for team sports and dances and cell phones.  And as your children get bigger, their problems get bigger.  And their choices (and yours) have greater consequences. 

One moment they want to tell us every detail of their day, from what their teacher ate during snack time to what library book they might want, to what they WISH we could have for dessert. And you think you might just scream if you hear one more "and then THIS happened..!"  But before you know it, you are forcibly pulling out even bare-bones details. And you worry that you don't have enough information to be a good parent. Because you never have enough information. You can't keep up on who is dating who, who is best friends with who, what so-and-so said, how bad was that math test, etc. You will never fully understand they level of drama that your child is going through.  Or they assume you don't/can't, which amounts to the same thing.  

And there can be this constant, low level of worry. What if I screw up? What if I should have called him out on this? What if I should have trusted her more about that? What if I had asked this question or been there for this event? What if what if what if. What if I had done more. Why didn't I see this coming.

I just remember the sleepless nights, rubbing a baby's back and praying she might fall back to sleep. Frantically looking for the "binky" to calm her down.  Scheduling around nap times and hauling a huge diaper bag everywhere and knowing that I just needed to hang in there. It would get easier, I would get to sleep again and it would be easier.

But it doesn't.

That's not to say that it gets worse, however.  

I am actually not a baby person. I love that my kids are all old enough to have dance parties and deep conversations (well, some deeper than others) and can get themselves dressed and most can even cut their own meat. :) But now that they are well on their way physically, I worry about their souls even more. I worry about a boy breaking my sweet girls' hearts. I worry about a catty "friend" with too many harsh words.  I worry about bullies on the school bus and the stress of academics for my kids that struggle in school.  I worry about their hearts. I want to protect them.  I want to put them in a metaphorical car seat, buckle them in tight and know that they are safe.

But I can't. Because growing up does mean letting go.  Letting them have their hearts broken and their feelings hurt, their pride stamped on and their dreams dashed. That's living.  That's growing. That's allowing them to become their own person. 

And it's one of the hardest things I've ever done.  And they just don't explain that part in the books.

Christmas Favorites...

I have several posts rattling around in my head, but zero time to get them out. Between sick kids (five of the six) and sick ME and Mark (who is STILL sick), it's been a rough couple of weeks.

So, I'm stealing this little survey from Bari. :)

1.  Favorite Christmas Album/CD/Song:

I love the classics, especially the ones that remind me of advent/ church services as a child. BUT if I'm really honest, my ultimate fav is this gem from Hanson (yup, the mmmBop guys):





2.  Run on Christmas morning or take the day off? I would normally say day off for sure, but this year I MAY try and sneak one in if I can. There are a few reasons for this but the primary two are that we are skipping most of our usual holiday-hussle-and-bussle this year so we are getting plenty of family time (hence, I won't feel terrible if I leave for 30 min or so). Also, I am THIS close to meeting my mileage goal for the year, but it's going to be tight.  I want to hit that number.  ;) 

3.  What do you usually eat on Christmas morning? We actually don't really have a tradition for this. I have tried different things, but generally the kids could care less. :) Mark bought some big muffins for this year so at least that's easy.

4.  Favorite holiday or Christmas tradition?  Tough call, but I think it is probably ornaments. Growing up, my parents bought us each an ornament every year, usually something that reminded them of us that particular year. We try and do the same with our kids.  Our tree is getting rather full though!

5.  Real tree, fake tree, or no tree? Fake. I've never had a real tree. I'm allergic and we found out Ally is TERRIBLY allergic. So fake all the way. Works.

6.  Christmas pajamas, yay or nay? This is another tradition I enjoy. We gift the kids new PJs on Christmas Eve. They are usually not holiday themed but they are comfy. Kids wear them that night. Upside - no ratty PJs in Christmas morning photos :)

7.  Where do you spend the holidays? This year, all at home. We bowed out of most holiday parties in order to just catch up and let Jhon settle into our family. We usually celebrate with Mark's family early in December and mine Christmas Eve but traditions are changing. Not sure what next year will bring.  Looking forward to seeing my brother's family next weekend!  Miss those kids so much.

8.  Food that you always have during the holiday season/favorite Christmas treat? Sugar cookies?  We rarely bake those any other time of year. Also, love me some Buckeyes. Hoping to make some tomorrow but we'll see... 

9.  Open presents all at once or take turns? Definitely take turns. Otherwise, it's over in 2 minutes! We don't do many gifts per child, but with six kids, it can last a little while if you take turns. :) 

10. Favorite Christmas(ish) movie?  Tough call. I think I'd have to go with White Christmas. It's been a favorite since forever. More modern one would definitely be Elf. :) I watched Elf last night with the kids and they laughed at me and how hard I laughed (felt like I was channeling you mom!).  But seriously, "Santa!  I KNOW him!"  It's hilarious. 

Family Sleepover! And the best thing ever...

After a verrrry busy week trying to madly tie up loose ends at work and with various projects and what not, we knew we needed some family time on Friday night.  Solution? Family movie night to the next level - family sleepover.

Oh yes. Even Mark ;)

This is a complicated endeavor at our house since our living room is not that big and not carpeted. BUT with a little creativity we were all (pets too!) snuggled up.  It was great.

Cozy Abi and Hana. I swear these 2 are practically twins some days...

Gracie and Selam!

Perry decided to snuggle with Ally. Then she bailed on him to snuggle with Mark and I.

Morning aftermath...

Oh, and even better! Pre-movie:

Mark sent all the kids up to grab their blankets and stuff and he told Abi and Hana we were watching a "scary" movie (it was the Dark Crystal).  They were pretty excited about that and Mark heard them talking as they walked away:

Abi:  "A scary movie!  Awesome! This is the best day ever!  Hana, do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you'd been adopted by the wrong family?"

Oh my, that boy warms my heart.  And blesses me a thousand times over.

I'm going to miss them all SOOOOOOO much.

Delighted Disbelief

I wrote briefly about how the judiciary in Colombia has been on strike. So, although we were ecstatic to receive our USCIS approval last week, we were still very skeptical (but hopeful!) about traveling this year. On Friday evening, we received an email from our agency, describing how the strike had not been resolved like everyone had hoped and is in decidedly full swing. Families were warned to travel at their own risk - no guarantees that the courts would process any cases.  

We were heartbroken. 

We knew we did not have the wiggle room with either our family or professional lives to handle an indefinite stay in Colombia. With our processing falling so close to the end of the year, our window of opportunity was nearly closed.  I did my best to put this from my mind and focus on my race, but it was difficult. In truth, I spent part of the weekend simply accepting that JS would not be with us for Christmas after all.  Ugh.

I finally summoned up the courage to email our agency on Monday, asking what our "drop dead date" was to receive good news this year.  To my surprise, the below email followed later that day:

Strike is over in Putamayo!!!!!  I just heard and I’ll get you the details soon.  [The lawyer] is connecting with the Embassy now to see if the Article 5 is ready, so travel is back on for your family!   YAY!!!!

[Putumayo is the region in which JS lives and where his case will be processed]

Isn't that incredible! We went from no-go to go-now in just days!  Although we don't have a final, official go-ahead yet, we are being told to leave Nov 8 or 9.  TWO WEEKS?! Happy birthday to ME!  Wahooooooo!

JS is coming home!

[We can't share photos of him publicly until the courts have approved the adoption, 

but here is a sneak peak at his smiling eyes!  :) ]

Grow Into the Person Who Can - Part 2.

In August, I wrote a post about my transformation over the last couple of years, from a person who dreamed of running a marathon to a person who made a plan to DO it.

 

Since then, I have been thinking about that mantra, the words "Grow Into the Person Who Can" floating through my head now and again. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it applied to other areas of my life.  

With our travel to Colombia (hopefully) fast approaching and the impending addition of child #6, I have been thinking about this more and more. 

When people hear we have 5 kids, we get a lot of shocked looks. When people find out three are adopted, we get (for the most part) tons of praise (and occasionally awkward comments...). Add on another adoption and some would sign us up for sainthood.    "That's amazing, I could never do that." "I've thought about adopting but don't have the personality for it."  "You guys are incredible, your kids are so lucky."  

(I'm not intending to toot my own horn, people really say this stuff. It's awkward.)

 Now, I'll be the first to say that adoption is NOT for everyone. Nor does it somehow make you a better person or something.  *end disclaimer*

But if you are NOT adopting because you "couldn't handle that" or because you "don't have the temperament" or whatever...Or because you think we are somehow different people... Stop yourself and ask what the real issue is.

Most people are not born with the temperament to be excellent parents. Excellent parents perfectly balance selflessness with self-growth, organization with balance, love with discipline.  In short, they aren't real people. ;)

I am not an excellent parent, adoptive or otherwise.  Heck, I'm not even a "kid person." (for serious - volunteering in a classroom is like the 7th circle of hell)

But I try. And I grow. 

I was 19 years old when my first child was born. I was barely more than a child myself. In many ways, I didn't know WHAT to do with her!  There was a long stretch where we thought Grace might be an only child. We just didn't feel capable of parenting more. Couldn't even imagine parenting more.

Time passed. We grew. We grew UP and we grew as parents.  We knew we were ready for another child.  And Ally came along.  Well, you can't really ever be ready for Ally.  ;) But we managed. There were some tough months - colic is no joke. But we continued to grow. We added in the difficulty of managing a work-life balance.  And we grew.  It was sometimes two steps forward, one back.  But we grew. 

And we knew in our hearts that adoption was our next step. We were naive and foolish in our expectations, but trusting, and we followed God's lead. And he led us right to Abi. And then to Hana. And we encountered an entirely new ballgame, preparing for the adoption of not one, but two somewhat "older" children. Despite our mistakes, we grew as a family, now pieced together by love and effort, not just biology.

And shortly thereafter, He opened the door for Selam to join our family. We certainly didn't see that coming!  We were FAR from the ideal parents for her.  We struggled, learning how to parent a teenager, barely out of our 20s ourselves. 

We messed up. Again. And again. 

And we grew. 

The truth is, we aren't all that special. We will never win parent of the year. But, we are pretty good parents.  And we are infinitely better parents than we were 11 years ago. 

If you would have told me, 10+ years ago, that we would eventually have 6 kids from 3 continents, I would have laughed. I had other plans. Fortunately for me, God laughed at my plans.

I wasn't born the "future mom of 6 kids, 4 of which are adopted." 

But I grew into a person who could be.

Deep Questions.

It is tough to add a new child to your family, no matter how you do it. Everyone is excited, but there is always apprehension, confusion, questions. Adding a child from a new country/culture seems to compound this.  So much is unknown. So many new experiences to come.

For example, take this letter that Ally recently wrote to JS.(Ally is 6 and in the first grade)
It really cuts to the heart of her questions:

 Translation:  Jhon, Do you have a lunch lady? Love, Alice

I think that about sums it up.

Weekend Happenings

Life has been a real whirlwind since school started about a month ago, but last week really takes the cake. I love that my kids are active and enjoying lots of different stuff. I love that we have found a new church home that has many (!) wonderful opportunities for all of us to worship and grow in different ways. I love that we have family that actually wants to see us! 

I do not love when all these things happen at once.  :( 

It was a busy fun week full of wonderful stuff. But it was SO full that it took away from the overall enjoyment. We are still working on finding balance. Work in progress I suppose. 

The weekend really capped everything off with homecoming football, dance, soccer, family visits, a funeral, and a birthday!  Whew.

I didn't take nearly enough photos :( and the ones that I did take are held hostage on my currently-not-working phone. 

But I did get a nice picture of my beautiful S, all decked out for the homecoming dance. Fortunately, she thinks I am fairly skilled with hair and make up, so we were able to do all prep at home. I must say, she was stunning (though I don't take credit for that!).

On Sunday, Miss Al turned SIX. Oh goodness. Where has time gone. This little stinker is too much and has been talking about her birthday non-stop for weeks. Weeks I tell you. We had a really nice day, starting with church, going to Art Prize with Aunt Julie and enjoying her favorite dinner (ravioli) and CAKE. 

It was a pretty awesome weekend. :)

When Pain and Remembering Sneak Up On You...

It was over three and a half years ago when we lost my dad.

I can't believe it. How can that much time have passed? Some days, his presence still feels so immediate. Like I could pick up the phone and hear his voice. Ask him a question about that funny noise my car is making or see if his allergies are flaring up as bad as mine. 

Other days, he seems so far away, like it's been decades since I felt his hugs. 

Both kinds of days provide pangs of sorrow.  

It's hard to admit, but the majority of days, 3+ years later, are less dramatic. Not that I forget him, but just... go on living I guess. Days full of the day-to-day survival. Yesterday was one of those days.  

Until late last night. It was something stupid really. Watched an old episode of the X-Files on Netflix. I used to watch that show with Dad actually, but that wasn't the trigger. The show particularly weirded me out for some reason and included one of the characters losing her dad unexpectedly. Maybe that's all it took. 

After the show was over, I just felt kind of sad.  And my mind wandered. Wandered to all these people that I know who have recently lost a family member or close friend.  Wandered to my dad and how much I miss him. And the tears just started to fall, quietly (as they are now, while I try to write this). 

And my mind continued to wander, unbidden, into more worrisome places. The parts of your brain and heart where fear and sorrow dwell. Where you start to worry about those scary things you can't control. And my mind worried about not being there to see my children grow up. Not there for graduation or weddings or grandbabies. And then, perhaps even scarier, the thought of losing Mark, and facing all of those events without him.

[All of this happened in a manner of minutes]

It is irrational. It is unreasonable. It is certainly not productive.

But we all have these fears don't we? For most of us, they are buried deep down, arising only when reading a particularly tragic news story or when we lose someone we know.  For others, typically others who have lost someone very close to us, these issues may lie a bit closer to the surface. Yet, after a time, we bury them again.  And rightly so. 

The truth is, I might die tomorrow. Probably not, but I might. That's just the long and short of it. And worrying about it is not going to make one damn bit of difference. Odds are, Mark and I will both live long lives and be able to watch our children (and perhaps grandchildren) grow up.  Although we lost my dad at 54, his father to 92! We could have decades and decades together.

Or not. Other than generally taking care of ourselves, we can't control the "or not." That's life.

All I can do is live. Find that balance where I live like I'm going to make it to 92 (and plan appropriately), while still living like I might not - and not waste the time I'm given.  Isn't that our challenge? Everyone's challenge? Just another reminder to me to focus less on day-to-day survival (school-to-work-to-sports-to-activities-to-homework-to-bed...) and more on living and loving and appreciating this time.

It's a tall order.

First Day of School!

I can't believe it.  Time FLIES.  This year we have kids in the following grades: 9th, 6th, 4th, 3rd and 1st.  Wow. Three schools (next year, spread over all 4!)

Loves these kids. 

Run Kids Run!

So... I've got a new running club apparently!  Monday I overslept and didn't feel like getting my run in before work. I headed out in the evening, but scored some company from my "middles."  G, H, and A are 11, 9 and 8.  They hung in for two miles with me without stopping!  I kept them to a nice 12 min/mile pace and I was so proud of them!!  Hope that we are able to make this a regular occurrence, but we'll see with sports schedules, etc.

Interesting fact - Doing laps around the neighborhood with three kids gets you a lot of smiles and waves and WOWs!  The kids thought that was pretty cool too. :) 

Family Date!

This is the last week of summer for my kiddos! Since we had some plans with extended family over Labor Day, this was our last family weekend for the summer. We decided to go out with a bang!

Sunday was the first annual Family Date Day! It was also "yes" day (we tried to say yes to as many requests as possible, provided they were free or inexpensive and not ridiculous.)

Started the day with church, followed with a great afternoon at the beach. Cleaned up at home, off to Costco for dinner :)  Little relaxing and then family movie night with the Lorax.  Awesome day.

 

What's new with you?

Stealing this little "summary" from Denise. :)

As July winds to a close - and summer continues to speed along (!) - I thought it would be nice to pause and take stock of the random things going on!  It's been a busy summer (as always) but overall a fun one.

Challenges:
1 - Lack of routine. This is a constant struggle every summer.  I think that, for the most part, we come up with workable summer routines as best as we are able. But with 5 kids home all day with a sitter (or each other) and Mark and I working, we can only do so much. Couple that with many weekends away or jam-packed and it becomes more difficult.  We're tired!  I know as soon as the school-busy-ness hits again, I"ll mourn these long "lazy" summer days. :)

 

[lots of swimming this year!]

2 - Sleep.  This is nothing new for most people, especially parents. But as I strive to fit in more miles during the week for my training, I find this is a bigger and bigger struggle for me.  Most days it is too hot even at 8 p.m. for me to run.  There have been many days with an alarm set starting with a "4"... !  I'm mentally not quite okay with that. :) It's getting better though.  But not on nights with crazy thunderstorms. :(

 

[Seriously tired face]

 Successes:
1- Despite the lack of routine (see above), I think the kids are overall doing really well this summer.  The past few summers have involved ups and downs (some kids more than others) but generally we've been hanging in there. One child in particular needs routine and stability and falls apart quickly without it. But there has been big steps in self-regulation this year. Very proud.

2- And, despite the challenges above, I have been getting my runs in without too much switching around.  I have a healthy fear of this race and cannot stomach skipping runs if I can help it. Even there there have been more than a few I just "didn't wanna."   Consistently getting my lazy but outta bed is a major success in my book!

Projects this month:
1 -   Earlier this month I lost a couple weeks of my life to a part-time job. :) I am working as a grading assistant this summer for a local law school.  I have another round of busy-ness that will be commencing shortly.  I'm thankful for the opportunity, though it was harder than I expected!  I am also thankful for the extra income to put toward our adoption.  We have been very, very blessed for such opportunities.

[summer grading... at least I could get outside a bit!]

2- Mark has kept busy with various around-the-house projects, including a custom built bench for our computer area (hides the computer tower, plugs, and trash can).  He's also planning out new beds and furniture for the kids that need them to accommodate JS when he joins us!

Listening to:  Game of Thrones series via audio books.  I have already listened to all 5 at least once, but several weeks ago started again. I just finished book 4 on my run this morning and started into #5 (again). I have a new audio book "waiting" but I feel compelled to finish what I started.  

    

From the Library: Skinny Rules and This is Why You're Fat (and how to get thin forever).

I'll be the first one to say that I hate both titles.  These are the kind of books I would have picked up a few years ago, looking for the "thing" to fix my weight problem.  However, I read good reviews on blogs I like for both, so I decided to try. Despite their titles, I think both contain a lot of great factual information.  I still struggle with my eating habits and need to focus on getting more healthy calories in and forgoing the wasted cals.  Hoping these books give me more tools to make better choices. :) I have only read snippets from both, but I like that I can do that and still get something out of it. I don't expect to read either cover to cover and that's okay.

Watching: The Olympics!  We don't have cable or a DVR (just Netflix) and this is the ONE time in the last 18 months I've regretted it!  Fortunately, we can still watch the coverage on NBC, but after years away from live television... it takes some getting used to.  ;)  I"m really looking forward to the marathon this year, but enjoying so many sports - gymnastics, soccer, track/field, volleyball and diving are just a few favorites.

Pondering:  What I want to be when I grow up.  And no, I'm not kidding.  This question is much more loaded at 30 than at 13 (and frankly, it stressed me out even then!)  I'm just keeping my eyes and ears open and praying.  :)

Discussing: Logistics. We have a 3 bedroom house and soon-to-be 6 kids. We made our lives much easier awhile back when Mark and I moved our bedroom into the basement, giving the kids the 3 upstairs bedrooms.  Right now Abi has his own and we need to make adjustments for JS to join him. This requires some bed reorganization.  Which has led us to realize that not only do we need some new beds, we need to so some mattress swapping/acquiring. And with at least 2 kids struggling majorly with allergies, mattress covers became a must. Ugh.  Extra costs abound.

 

Thankful:
1 - We have much to be thankful for, not the least of which is a wonderful fundraising garage sale put on by my mom (with the "help" of my kids) to raise funds for our adoption.  The sale was more successful than I had dared hope.  Even more, the generosity of so many just filled my heart with hope and peace. Adoption is not an easy thing and there are moments of fear and doubt.  These blessings really help me re-focus in a healthy way. So, so thankful.

 2 - Along the same lines, we found out that our dossier was (finally!) submitted to the ICBF for approval on July 11.  Still haven't heard anything further and approval could take 3 months or more (!) but keeping fingers crossed for news sooner.

   

What's New:  Poor Ponch tore his ACL. He's been kind of gimpy for awhile, but he's pulled muscles before and healed up. This time he didn't and the vet confirmed it was the ACL. :( Will be a tough few weeks of recovery, but fingers crossed.  He's my first little furbaby, my snuggle buddy and still pretty healthy. I think he can handle it. I just hate to see him hurting.  : /

[Poor sweet baby]

Fun Times:  Last weekend we had a blast with Mark's family at his parents' cabin.  The weather was great and the cousins (and adults!) had so much fun together.  Love this tradition.

Anticipating: Seeing my brother and family this week!  They are visiting from TN and it's been too long. :) Hoping we get a nice beach day.

"You can make it, but it's easier if you don't have to do it alone."

~Betty Ford~

 [2012 group photo of (most) of the children in our group]

  

Sometime in the summer of 2007, we traveled across the state for a picnic. The head of our adoption agency was going to be in town and a few families were getting together.  At that point, we had recently sent our dossier off to Ethiopia and were waiting to bring Abi home! (We didn't even have plans to adopt Hana yet!)  Anyway, that picnic was not only a lot of fun, but it was a wonderful opportunity for us to meet with a few families who already had children home from Ethiopia, and to begin learning from them.

Fast forward to January 2008. We and a few other families agreed it would be great to keep getting adoptive families together!  We also thought camping would be fun.  So, we started planning and made reservations.  Then, in June 2008 - a few months after Abi and Hana had come home - we had our first camping event.  There were about 8 or 9 families that camped and about 10 (?) others that joined us for a potluck lunch that Saturday.  We had so much fun we decided to make it an annual event!

[I've blogged about our first camping event briefly here: 2008]

Our numbers grew in 2009, 2010, 2011... 

This past weekend was our fifth annual Michigan Ethio-Adopt Camping Weekend.  There were at least 40 families who camped (quite possibly over 50 - it gets difficult to keep track!).  We have officially taken over one major loop of the campground, and large portions of other loops.  In the past 4 years, we've been able to grow together as families. We've watched chubby-cheeked babies grow into stumbling toddlers and active preschoolers. We've seen other children mature, their language skills developing rapidly. We've seen many more children join our numbers - biological and adopted, Ethiopia and elsewhere.  Our children have made great friends - hopefully, life-long friends. 

It's a weekend when children of all colors and ages mix and mingle and scamper off - chalk drawings on the cement near the bathrooms, catching tadpoles in the creek, soccer games in the activity field, bikes and scooters around and around... 

As a family, we look forward to this weekend every year. The kids have a blast with their friends, as do we.  Perhaps more importantly, it's a chance for all of us to feel *normal.*  To be around other families that look just like us - whether they have one adopted child, or 5 - we're all a mix of colors and cultures and all dealing with the special challenges adoption provides. 

I'm so thankful to have this community and cannot express how valuable it is for me as a parent and - I hope - for my children, biological and adopted.

 Catching tadpoles!

Bossy chalk drawings after a rain shower :)

Looking cute at the beach with a buddy

Beach fun with friends!

 Sweet sister smiles

Football with Hana and Dad.

Buried in the sand with a friend

Relaxing and grilling at the campsite