$$ Adoption and Health Issues ... I'm seeing dollar signs $$

We are no newcomers to adoption, nor the post-adoption expenses that seem to add up faster than agency fees. However, I think it is like labor - once you are past the worst, you forget about it.  Forget about the sheer, vast number of appointments and the financial output.

Adopting children internationally (and I suppose even domestically) comes with its fair share of medical issues. Your child has been living in sub-optimal conditions (there is certainly a range of "sub-optimal," but, in any event, it's not ideal).  Further, any time you add a child to your family, you have all those "first" and baseline appointments - pediatrician check up, first dental visit, labs, x-rays, maybe a  few specialists to take care of temporary problems (like intestinal parasites) or more long-term problems (e.g. a chronic condition). 

Plan to take some time off to deal with all of this! The appointments seem never-ending.

Additionally, plan to set aside some money above and beyond what you normally do for your family's health care expenses. Even with a very good insurance plan, co-pays of $20 here and there add up very quickly.  And many of these tests are not "typical" for the average American, so, as a result, may not be fully covered. It is worthwhile too know your insurance coverage backwards-and-front to avoid surprises. (And to fight for your rights when something should be covered in full).

I currently work for a county government. As a government employee, we are fortunate to have pretty great health care coverage. Yet, I know we have spent at least $300+ just in co-pays and such for Jhon in the last 3 months. And, this is the tip of the iceberg. 

Yesterday was our family trip to the dentist. Yes, six back-to-back appointments. What fun. This was Jhon's first visit and the other kids were due for regular cleanings. Jhon has some very extensive damage to those poor baby teeth. He starts with a pulpotomy next week, which is a bit like a baby root canal. He has three other follow up appointments to take care of other cavities, including two that were done in Colombia, but not properly and there is more decay to address. Since our dental insurance only covers these types of repairs at 50%, we expect our share of the expenses to exceed $800. 

Colombia is a land of sweet. Many, many items include sugar (and lots of it), including formula and baby cereals. Juice is very, very common (and amazing!). I suspect (although do not know) that this led to Jhon's dental trouble. At minimum, it likely did not help.  However, Hana had many dental problems too (including a pulpotomy and an extraction), and Ethiopia does not use much sugar. There, the issue seemed to be a complete lack of dental hygiene and care. Yet, Selam came home - at age 12 - with absolutely perfect teeth. Go figure. 

In addition to Jhon's not-so-fun upcoming dental visits, we decided we needed to go ahead with the surgery to fix his perforated ear drums (yes, both).  He has been pretty good lately, but just 2 weeks ago, he was experiencing heavy drainage, including blood, from his ears. Very disturbing to his teacher who didn't realize he had this problem... We decided we could not wait an additional 2 months for a second opinion and just had to get him some relief.

It's becoming quite clear that my sweet boy is simply used to living in chronic pain. :( And as much as I want to whine about the bills, I can say, without a doubt, that I would pay it all ten times over to get him feeling better.  

I admit - I'm a tad nervous. If he's this rambunctious with pain, what will he be like when he's feeling good all the time?!  ;) 

What about you adoptive parents? Any other major health issues you didn't expect? 

Did you budget extra money for medical expense at homecoming? 

Update on my Lil' Colombiano

I have a few posts half drafted and others swirling around my head, but being so sick last week left me pretty behind in all areas of life. In the meantime, I realized I haven't given many updates on how Jhon is doing lately.  Here's a a quick mish-mash update! 

Well. Jhon is doing really well.

[He has his own sense of style]

I know, that means nothing. But it's true. For the most part, he's slipped into our family very seamlessly. He just so obviously ... belongs (?) with us. I suppose I can't say it better than that. He's a busy boy and off and running most of the time. He's not really one to sit on your lap and snuggle. He'd much prefer jumping off of bunk beds and wrestling and battling with light sabers and who knows what else.

That brings me to another point. As much as he has so easily slipped into our family, we have definitely noticed changes! Another boy in the mix really makes a difference.  The overall amount of NOISE and rough housing has gone up a notch. It's not just Abi and Jhon either. The other night we finally had to nix playtime early and send them to bed with books after Ally came down with a bloody lip and Jhon 5 minutes later crying and holding his head. I have no idea what they were doing, but they apparently couldn't tone it down! Not to worry - everyone is fine. It's just an adjustment!

I think we are getting Jhon's health squared away. The first few months are always full of check ups and appointments, updated vaccines, and tests. Even before leaving Colombia, we knew he had perforated ear drums.  We were able to get him into an ENT recently who thinks he needs surgery.  :( It's fairly extensive for the little guy, so we are doing some research and getting a second opinion to be sure. Although his ears can be a bit "leaky" they don't seem to hurt him much, so we're thankful for that. The boy sure hates shots though. Ugh. 

And the question that I get ALL THE TIME - How's his English coming?  Well ... I admit I'm surprised he's not speaking more by now, although he clearly understands quite a bit. I think he's being a bit stubborn about it.  But it seems to be sneaking in slowly, whether he likes it or not. And he still has his adorable Colombian accent, so it's very cute when he does try out his English. 

Despite his almost-entirely Spanish vocabulary, he started school in early January and seems to like it. We have conferences coming up, so I hope to get a better picture. He has the same kindergarten teacher that Abi and Al had, and we love her. I told her that my desire for him this year was to just get comfortable in school and get more exposure to English. I had no academic expectations.  I think she was relieved. :)

So, yup, he's doing great!

[J and Al eating a bag of salad like popcorn?]

But.

No, things aren't always perfect. He's definitely done more hitting and physically acting out the last few weeks, often the result of a misunderstanding/language issue. Like many children in his situation, transitions are stressful for him and he's recently started acting out physically. Not necessarily in an extreme way and sometimes very minor. But we are noticing it more now that we are paying attention. I expect this will fade in time and I think he often doesn't realize he is doing it (or it's a knee-jerk reaction). He's very obsessed with playing Mario on the Wii to a point we have to keep it limited because it's a bit unhealthy. And he's a bit of a tattler. And if he feels wronged, he will go on and on in Spanish and neither Mark or I can quite understand, but it's clear he is being very disrespectful to us. At the core, most of this is language stuff and him feeling misunderstood. And I'm sure the aspects of grief and fear play in as well. I haven't seen many outward signs of grief yet, but I believe he's just too busy and in survival mode at this point. It may take him years until he is ready or comfortable enough to truly grieve.

All that being said, he's a truly wonderful boy. Attachment seems to be going quite well, on all sides. I couldn't imagine life without him.

[Tired out after a long day...]

A family of eight! Photo Friday

I'm a little behind, but here's a peak out our first weekend as a family of 8, in pictures. The high points - played in the SNOW and cuddled. Low point - sick Ally.

Our little Colombia sure loved his first look (taste, touch) of SNOW!

Friday Travels... Welcome to America Jhon!

Taking a step back to remember our homecoming. :)

Friday dawned bright and EARLY. I was wide awake at 5 a.m., thinking of all that I still needed to back. After some tough goodbyes, we were at the airport before we knew it. Our driver helped get us situated and even walked us all the way to international departures.  I thought we were set!

I was wrong.

Seriously. Everything that could go wrong...

Anyway, Jhon and I got in line at Emigration. I thought this was pretty straightforward. Show our passports and tickets and they would let us leave the country. Um, nope. 

Without going into the whole long story, the guy "helping us" was a grumpy gus. Just hostile from the get-go. He asked for our passports and wanted the "permiso." Well, in my not-100% state, it took me a full minute to figure out he wanted the document that Mark signed back in Mocoa, giving me permission to leave the country with Jhon by myself. This should have been ALL he wanted. But he wanted everything. He went over Jhon's birth certificate and our sentencia (judgment of adoption) with a fine tooth comb.  He talked to a manager. He read it again. He left again.  He got up and left his station WITH MY PAPERWORK AND PASSPORT at least 6 times. He would not tell me the problem and he would not let me speak to anyone in English (there were 2 women in other booths that spoke English - one talked to me early on, but never came back).  Anyway, long story short, after FORTY-FIVE minutes of this nonsense, he finally let me go. 

Whew. Heart attack averted. 

After that, the rest of the day was a piece of cake!  All in all, Jhon was an A+ traveler.  

After a five hour(ish) flight, we arrived in Atlanta. Immigration took about an hour, but Jhon did great.  And once we passed through those gates, he became an American citizen! Wahooo!  We celebrated by finding our gate for our next flight and taking a photo. :)

Followed up with first meal as a American.  Appropriate, no?

Then we waited for awhile.

Our next flight wasn't set to leave until 8:30, but it was delayed and we didn't leave until after 9.  Jhon passed right out and slept the whole way.  We arrived in GR around 11 p.m.

It turns out, Mark, the kids (and 2 of my awesome friends) were waiting for us! My stomach was in knots the closer we got!  Poor Jhon was just bleery eyed and exhausted.

WAITING!

Is that the right plane??

And then we were coming down the hall and I saw them and fell apart. :)  The kids were SO good. Mark had made sure they didn't rush us and stayed back so as not to clog the hallway. Unfortunately, I was not so reasonable and I made them come at us. :)

Abi gave me the best hug and I cried and cried.

Jhon was super overwhelmed but did great!  He was SO excited to meet everyone and went right to Mark. He had been talking about his "papi" all day. So sweet. :) I think he loved the balloons ("bombas").

Red eyed, travel-weary and so happy. 

Our family of 8.

[Ally celebrated by puking around midnight (and all weekend).  Welcome home indeed.]

Saying goodbye

I'm beginning this post in the van which is quickly transporting us to the airport. The driver was extraordinarily punctual; it is only five minutes after seven.

Moments ago, we had to say goodbye. It was even harder than I'd expected.

It wasn't our first goodbye.

Putumayo is where my son was born, where he spent the first three years of his life, and where he lost his family. It is also the place where we met our son and legally became a family. Where we shared our jungle adventure. It was very hard to say goodbye to Mocoa.

And Bogota is where Jhon spent the last two years of his life. A wonderful city that we fell in love with in the midst of appointments and stress. Bogota is where I was able to make the kind of friends that are only made when sharing such a deep personal experience. Although I've only known Carol and Steve, Megan and Michael for two weeks, it seems much longer. They have been a lifeline, a wonderful support to me. It is strange, but it feels weird knowing that we won't share dinner tonight, swapping jokes about the poor quality of napkins over a beer.

And even the staff. Although my Spanish is poor and their English nonexistent, they all were an incredible part of my time in Colombia. They all loved Jhon, tolerating his many questions and incessant chatter.

And Colombia. As we slip through the streets closer to the airport, I grieve for my son. At five years old he is filled with excitement and wonder. He does not understand yet what he leaves behind.

So, my stomach twists with mixed feelings and tears slip down my cheeks. Utter excitement and joy, knowing that in 15ish hours, I will see my family again, the very event I have prayed for daily for a month. And tears for what we leave behind. Good friends, a country and a culture.

And, through it all, I feel hope.

Visa Obtained! We're Going HOME!

Almost every step in this process - at least the part in Bogota - has been full of drama.  Fortunately, the visa process today WAS an exception.  :)

There was a little bit of a rough start.  InSANE traffic made us late, and then we got dropped off at the wrong gate and it seemed to take forever to get where we were supposed to be. However, from that point on, it was smooth sailing!

I admit - I was scared.

The biggest (potential) issue is that Jhon's medical clearance was issued to us under his "old" name and passport number - the first one. I was worried that since it didn't match we might be forced to fix that too. Fortunately, the US embassy had plenty of sense to see it was clearly one kid at issue.
Thus, from the time I spoke to the first person to submit my documents, to the time we had the visa in hand, it was only one hour.

Glorious. Simply glorious.

We are so, so excited.

To come home.

Jhon and I before leaving for the embassy.  I promise he was more excited than he looks...

See? This is Jhon in the taxi, very excited.

aaaand this is Jhon asleep in the taxi. Because that is pretty much what he does. :)

Drama ... Everything involves drama! Alternate Title: Passport, Take 2

Seriously. 

Almost nothing about this process has been straightforward.  It's enough to cause you some serious heart problems!

[SPOILER ALERT - EVERYTHING WORKS OUT. CALM DOWN  MOM.]

So, on Tuesday, we successfully obtained the consent from ICBF. That was the last piece we were missing to obtain Jhon's visa. I finally felt comfortable enough to order his plane ticket (and wowza was that NOT cheap).  All we had to do was get a "correction" to his passport.  Little did I know....

To make a long story slightly less long... well, I can try.

We head to the passport office this morning and quickly discover this "little correction" is pretty much not possible. We need an entirely new passport. Yay! I was definitely looking to spend another $75. Awesome.  But, whatever. We just want to get home.

So, we finally get to that point and we have to pull out the updated sentencia and birth certificate.  We quickly discover that the lawyer screwed up, again, and spelled our name wrong on the sentencia amendment.This almost caused further issues, but our rep quickly talked our way out of that one.  Score one for Senora Luz. Unfortunately, she couldn't talk her way around the next problem.

Which was that when our lawyer sent us the updated birth certificates on Monday, he was in such a hurry that he didn't wait for the notary to sign them. So, they were basically just photo copies.  Here's a little tip. Colombia does not accept photo copies.  Le sigh.

At this point, we actually LEAVE the office. They can't do anything until they get something from the notary in Puerto Asis that indicates that the documents we have are legit (just unsigned).  So, we wait around an hour or so until we finally get this arranged and head back to the passport office.  Upon arrival, we find out that the manager who was also waiting for the email got it, but the attachment was blank. On the phone again, attachment re-sent.  Then, another problem. The notary in Puerto Asis is rather... not tech savvy. Apparently, he was sending the document from some generic email address in an internet cafe.  Well, that pretty much negated the point of confirming that the correspondence was FROM THE NOTARIA in the register's office.  Good grief. 

So, several phone calls and another half hour of waiting later, they finally get an email that they are comfortable with.  So, we finish putting all the info together and they tell me "thank you, it will be ready Thursday afternoon."  Um, no. That won't work. We have to be at the embassy at 1:30! Another trip back to the manager, who assures us it will be ready on Thursday morning.

And low and behold... we arrive at the passport office today and it IS ready! Wahoo!  

We're almost there! 

Staying Fit When Away From Home... Don't follow my example. :(

[The lengthy first part is all of my excuses. If you want to see what I actually DID do, just skip to the end. ;) ]

So, just weeks before we headed off on this great adventure, I completed my first marathon. Yeah, had to drop that in there - still pretty geeked about it.  ;) 

Literally, days after the race, we got the go ahead to travel and life started moving at lightening speed. Regular exercise of any kind flew out the window. There was NO time. I worked through lunches and a few times after hours. We had to take a day to go to Chicago and sort out stuff with the kids. It was a B.U.S.Y. time. 

I brought some work out clothes with me to Colombia and had great intentions. I knew that the likelihood of running regularly was slim, but hoped to go a few times. Further, I thought for sure that I could do some basic core/strength work at least 4-5 times a week to keep up fitness.

Oh, how wrong I was. : / 

Well, it started out simply enough. We got to Mocoa and took custody of Jhon right away. That first week was tough. He tested us out a lot, my Spanish was still very rusty, and we just had to figure out how to function as a mini-family.

Things started to settle down a bit for us and I seriously thought about sneaking in a run.  But it was SO HOT. And the humidity was just utterly unbelievable  And there just didn't seem to be a great place to do it. I could have just run down the road I suppose, but I really didn't feel comfortable. I never felt unsafe in Mocoa, but this just didn't seem like a smart choice.  Further, there is no such thing as a road shoulder around there.  ;) And people drive like maniacs. 

Then came Bogota, Can't beat the weather but the altitude? Yikes. Further, I don't feel like I can leave Jhon at all. Ever. The other families have graciously offered to watch him for short periods (like to walk a few blocks to the grocery), but he has not liked the idea of me leaving him. Which is excellent from an attachment perspective. But tricky from a "I'm leaving you to run" perspective.

So, it's been close to a full month with no exercise. Well, not quite. I do walk much more frequently here than I do at home, so there's that.

Also, I decided to jump into a couple of "December challenges".  I happened to come across the "Holiday Squat a Thon" via mom vs marathon, which I think is hosted by fitspobook.It's pretty straightforward and, well, you can squat pretty much everywhere! Today I successfully completed day 5. And you know what? It was just the slight kick in the pants I needed to want to get back into the fitness swing of things.

 I also picked up on "plank a day" via Run with Jess.  And I decided to add my own personal challenge of 10 push ups each day.  I was doing that pretty consistently through much of my marathon training and I miss my shoulders  :) So, today I did 40 squats, a 60 second plank, and 15 push ups (no girlies here man - the real deal).  AND I managed to not eat rice for the 2nd day in a row.

If you have ever been to Colombia, you would understand how big a feat this is.  Since I ate the provided french fries instead, I'm not sure this was a great trade off, but whatever.  ;)

Anyway, I'm still a bit disappointed that I "let myself go" so much this past month. And yet, I'm not. This month was NOT about fitness or being healthy (although there is no need to abandon completely)  This month was about my son. It was about experiencing his country - the food, the culture (which does mean rice every day, usually paired with another starch ), amazing juice and fruit, and, most importantly, HUGE bonding time.  So, I'll count the month a major success and I look forward to resuming running and a bit healthier lifestyle upon my return.

I'm just glad my pants still fit.  ;) 

Consent obtained... We're coming home!

That's right. We're coming home!

I got an update late last night that our lawyer was able to get the Judge to sign an amendment to our judgment of adoption. He then went to get a new birth certificate (with the 2 last names) and sent all the paperwork overnight by bus.  This was both comforting and scary. Comforting because the Judge DID sign everything!  And a little scary because I just kind of pictured my documents strapped to the roof of a bus, cruising across the country overnight.

In any event, the documents arrived safe and sound AND ICBF agreed to prepare the last document we need to get Jhon's visa - the consent. Jhon and I traveled with our rep to the ICBF office today and after a few more administrative corrections, we had the proper document in hand. Whew!  What a load off!

Tomorrow morning we head back to the passport office. I'm not sure if we have to pay for an entirely new passport : /  but it sounds like there will be some sort of amendment sticker for it instead. In any event, that should be fixed tomorrow or Thursday morning.  Thursday afternoon we head to the US Embassy to collect Jhon's visa to enter the US.

And Friday morning ... we fly HOME!  

It's a loooong day of travel. We have a hefty layover in Atlanta and don't reach GR until close to 11 pm.  But I don't care!!!  I am so excited to have the entire weekend with my whole family in one house! Heck, it's pretty exciting that we will all be in the same country!  

Thank you all for your prayers. I've really felt the love and support and it's given me so much strength. I could never say thank you enough.

As thrilled as we are to be finally heading home, now that its imminent, there is a little sadness as well. Colombia has been wonderful and our experiences here unparalleled  We leave behind two amazing families that have become wonderful friends in such a short time. Thankfully, they should be heading back to the US very shortly behind us. 

At the end of the day, after all my whining and fears and worry and venting... I am so thankful that I have been able to see this experience as a wonderful gift. Even relatively ordinary experiences - like eating new foods and going to a park - have taken on new importance. We are able to experience this city, this country, in the little ways, as well as the big. And loving it! 

The fruit here is incredible and I will really really miss it!

Below is a photo of a fruit I tried for the first time this weekend. I believe it's called a "mangostein"?  It is a purple color on the outside, but you crack it open and find this white fruit on the inside. It has the texture of an orange (kind of), looks a bit like garlic, but takes amazing!

 

Late this morning/early afternoon, some of us took a walk to a large park near the mall. It used to be a polo/country club but is now a public park. it is HUGE and lovely. The grass is amazing and there were tons of neat equipment, including the traditional slides and monkey bars, but also an old fashioned merry-go-round (remember those? I never see them in the US), and some exercise equipment! 

You sure can't beat the view. I am SO going to miss seeing those mountains everyday. 

They just make me smile.

I assume this used to be a polo field. Today, we just saw people enjoying it, running and playing soccer (I mean "futbol")

Jhon enjoyed the elliptical

The merry-go-round was a blast!  

The only downside was that it was SO heavy that it was a serious work out to push it fast and then it would slow very quickly. Ah well, still fun.

Great day. 

Otra Vez

Another Sunday! So that's right - another round of ciclovia and the mercado! (FYI - otra vez just means "another time" or "again") Unfortunately, one family was still rather down and out with this rotten stomach bug, but the other family and Jhon and I teamed up with G, a wonderful woman from Ireland, her mother-in-law and her adorable 2 year old S. So, the 9 of us headed out to enjoy the beautiful day and do a little shopping.

First, we enjoyed a little Navidad decor at Norbertos, the amazing salon with all the decorations.  So, we took advantage of a few photo ops with Papa Noel: 

And a polar bear.

Before long, we hit Calle 116 and were enjoying the most amazing corn on the planet. Jhon even tried some this week. He was a fan. Seriously amazing stuff.

Then we headed off again to the market.  The day was a bit cooler than last Sunday and Jhon handled the walk much better. Before we knew it, we were there, checking out the little booths, dodging shoppers, performers and dogs, and enjoying ourselves.

Jhon and I at the mercado. You can see some of the tents in the background.  Can you believe that beautiful sky?

And this is Jhon just running like a fool through the grassy field area. I can't believe he hasn't fallen down with exhaustion yet, but he was going strong!

There is so much to see at the market. Tons of random Colombian souvenirs  but also just some neat crafts, tasty treats, and utter randomness.  Like... the Hulk?

And this creepy elf guy ... 

Then we made the long trek home. Which, admittedly, felt much shorter since Jhon was not throwing a tantrum this week. Yay for success. He and his 5 year old buddy traded off turns in the umbrella stroller, which made life easier for all concerned. 

Whew. What a great day!