Cut and Paste Distasters (Overwhelmed Pt 3)

Part 1 here
Part 2 here

Originally, I wrote this "Overwhelmed" post as one big mess of a post. Then decided it was too big of a mess and broke it up. I did a simple cut and paste.  Except that at some point I "cut" part 3 and never "pasted" it back into a post draft.

I'm too irritated to re-write it. It was extraordinarily detailed about the stupidest thing (my issues with my race outfit). Perhaps this is God gently telling me that no one in their right mind wanted to read it. ;) In short?

I'm a procrastinator.

I like costume-ish stuff.
But don't plan well.
I love these socks.  They were perfect.





 But won't be wearing them in the race. Because I'm an idiot.

Sports apparel manufacturers seem to shy away from yellow/gold for women's tops?

Beware, this shirt in "citrus" is super see-through.
Trust me, no one wants to see my middle while running.


 Pink and sparkles it is. My 12 year-old self would hate me.  See you at the starting line.

Potential Delays and a Cranky-Pants (Overwhelmed Pt 2)

[See Overwhelmed pt 1 here]

(2) Judicial Strike and Unknown Implications.  Over the weekend we read a news story about a judicial strike in Colombia.  Essentially, judges and workers are on strike, holding out for better wages and a bigger budget for the branch. No one knows much about what the implications are. Yesterday was a holiday in Colombia. Hoping our agency hears more today. If the courts are not operating, they will obviously not be processing adoption paperwork. Which, I can only assume, means that we may not be able to travel to Colombia until it is all sorted out.  While I am extremely thankful that this did not occur while we were in Colombia, I am worried. I assume any length of time would back-up the court systems, which throws our already precarious travel plans back... 

On one hand, we heard there are still some courts operating today.  We don't know which/how many, or for how long. This article indicates that 90% of all cases have ground to a halt. I suppose 10% better than 0.

On the other hand, we also heard that the last similar strike was in 2008 and lasted 44 days. Boo.

I'm doing my best not to get ahead of myself. Nothing is ever guaranteed in international adoption. We know this.  Yet, I had gotten my heart set on having JS home for Christmas. It's a lot to take in. Also, there are other families currently in Colombia, in the middle of their court process who are now stuck. Please keep them and their families in your prayers. Families were also stranded back in 2008.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about all this is the fact that I am surprised. We encountered some fairly major, unusual and unexpected delays in both our previous adoptions.  For example, we were told that we were the "worst case scenario" example after our delays for Abi and Hana. Then our delays for Selam were over twice as long. Seriously.   One major upside for us in choosing Colombia this time was the relative stability of the program. Except that life goes on ticking for everyone whether we are adopting or not. And that means things can go wrong. For us. Every time. UGH.

[As another side note, I do understand there may be valid reasons for the strike and that this may be completely justified. I have no idea. This post is solely devoted to MY selfish disappointment with the potential delay. It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to.  *End disclaimer*]

Lack of Focus and Zac Efron (Overwhelmed Pt 1)

Overwhelmed

Word of the day. Week. Maybe even month!

I've had all this random stuff going on, all these things I want to blog about - or even to just stop and *think* about - and yet there just seems to be too much!

There's this little thing. This marathon. In 5 days.  And I'm kind of freaking out.

And there's some not-so-little things.  Adoption timeline ticking. Judicial unrest in Colombia. At-home crazies.  Things that are much, much bigger than a stupid race.

So, of course, I spend half the night last night worried about my race outfit. Priorities.

Not-that-I-use-petty-things-to-distract-me-from-stressful-situations.  Not me. 

ha.

Maybe I should just take a deep breath and try a little "Three Things Thursday" ... on Tuesday.  'Cuz, ya know, I'm overwhelmed and can't wait until Thursday.  ;)  So, here's three really long ramble-y things!

{Edited to add that I rambled SO much, I had to make it separate posts!}

(1) My grand plan - backfired.  Originally, I signed up for this marathon in part to distract me from this last tough part of the adoption waiting game.  I have always really sucked at maintaining dignity patience and thought that having this other goal to focus on would be helpful.  And, I admit, I hoped in the back of my mind that we would be in Colombia and I wouldn't even get to run it. I mean, isn't that how you tempt the universe? Sign up and pay for something so mountains are moved and you can't do it after all?  ;)  

Well, it mostly worked!  I have been pretty running focused for months (obviously this is well known if you actually do READ this blog anymore...).  I've been able to distract myself somewhat from diligently religiously manically tracking the dates of all our various adoption milestones and focused more on a running countdown to race day.

Until we finally got our referral. And a lot of stuff started happening quickly. Then I had to shift gears and put the race/running on the back burner. Which is great.  

Except it's made me kind of a mental mess.  I'm not in Colombia as I"d hoped. I'm running on Sunday. And I've got to get my head in the game (cue Zac Efron...).

Three Things Thursday - Laugh a Little

I have about 7 half-written posts (and most of the "half" is still in my head...) but decided to not miss on Three-Things-Thursday again. So here are 3 things that make me laugh. :)

(1)

 Seriously. Story of my week.

(2)

I am apparently feeling tired. Tired of being so AWESOME.

(3)  

Ha. My little grammar-loving heart goes pitter-pat at such geeky humor. 

The end.

Three Things Thursday - Fundraising, Fueling and Five

(1) We don't have any updates on JS's adoption, but we know things are moving along (at their own pace...) in Colombia. Either way, we hope that we will be traveling to Colombia by January or February next year. So. Still have quite a few fees due between now and then. Time to suck up the pride and ask for help!  Fortunately for us, we have some really generous people in our lives. Two of those people - my aunt and uncle - devised a pretty awesome fundraiser!  We are selling dog/luggage/military tags that can be engraved.  The tags cost $8, with 1/2 going right to our adoption fund! I attempted to set up a facebook page with the info: www.facebook.com/brainerdfamilyfundraiser

I am already overwhelmed with the kindness everyone has shown. The support means so very much.  We may have a similar opportunity in the pipeline as well. Stay tuned!  :) 

(2)  Fueling. Ugh. My downfall lately. Other than last week's deviation from training, I have been nailing my training runs pretty well. Unfortunately, I have not been making proper fueling a priority. All this extra running makes a girl hungry And has allowed this girl the excuse to revert back to some very bad eating habits. :( The extra miles keep the weight down, but I am starting to feel a real toll in my running.  The marathon is 37 days away.  I am re-committing to smarter choices, 6 days a week, at least until the race.  It seems so stupid to put so much time and effort into training and then allow myself to sabotage it all with doughnuts, chips and beer!  ;)

(3) Also in preparation for JS coming home, I am working on getting myself mentally prepared. This involves a lot of things, not the least of which include revisiting attachment issues, etc. But I'm also starting to think of our family has having six kids, not five. For some reason, this is hard to wrap my head around. We've had 5 for three whole years now (wow).  Plus, people's eyebrows REALLY go up when you say six. :)

Three Things Thursday - Beds, Crayons and Tired Legs

(1)   This week is a bit of a step-back week in my training.  It feels weird.  There was this rebellious part of me that was going to squeeze in an extra run just because… but then I admitted that I’m tired.   So I’m sticking with the plan. Rule follower at heart I suppose. I have been sneaking in some more strength/core training though. 10+ pushups daily and 60 second plank. Yesterday I tried my hand at a burpee-squat-sit up combo. Whew. Kicked my butt.

(2)   Summer is flying by. I’m scheduling last-minute appointments (several doctors, dentist, etc) and realizing there aren’t many open days!  May have to school shop this weekend. Bah. I hate school shopping. Except for $0.25 crayons. Love $0.25 crayola crayons. I hope I didn’t miss that deal…

(3)   We are undergoing the great “bed swap” at our house right now.  Currently, Abi has his own room and a single bed, but we need bunks in there with Jhon coming home. Plus, the older girls have old beds which they managed to break. So…the little girls’ bunks are moving into the boys’ room, Abi’s bed has been moved into the big girls’ room and we’re picking up another bed for the older girls.  Oh, and Mark is building the little girls a new double bed (partially out of the remains of the older girls’ broken beds!).  J Whew. Now we just need to acquire one more twin mattress and a full mattress and we’ll be all set! I was hoping to get the kids’ rooms painted this summer too and that hasn’t happened.  Well, one thing at a time I guess…

Hmmm… I’m sure that was fascinating.  : /

Three Things Thursday - Run for the HILLS

(1) Today is a rest day. Normally I love rest days. :) It is nice to wake up next to my husband, instead of 60-90 minutes before him.  But I notice I'm feeling a little antsy - weird. There is a part of me that's feeling a bit off with no run or anything planned today. Maybe it's that 26.2 miles hanging over my head? 

Still, I also know my body is tired and needs recovery if I'm going to keep pushing it.  I also woke up to pouring rain (yay!) and was thankful to NOT be out running in that soup. So, all in all a win. :)

(2) Yesterday was my first attempt at hill repeats.  I had a slow start and really had to drag myself out the door.  Once I got going, I started feeling better.  Then I hit the neighborhood hill. It's certainly nothing for those who regularly run the rolling hills of TN or the Rocky Mountains, but I worked with what was on hand. :) Anyway, once I got going, I realized I felt GREAT. I powered up the hills (which is most of a long block) and then recovered by running down the other block.  I just did these circles over and over for a total of 4 miles of hills (6 miles total with warm up/cool down).  Under 10/min mile pace! I was so happy with that!!  I wanted to keep it challenging, but it wasn't meant to be speed work and I didn't want to overdo it. Overall, I was really pleased. Felt good to have a self-esteem-boosting run (as compared to Monday when I was second-guessing this marathon business and wanted to quit for the entire 7 miles...).  :) 

Also, I tried out my new (clearance!) running skirt for the first time. Maybe that made me fast?  ;) The pink can't hurt right? 

(3) This week we had another reminder at how fast our kids are growing up.  Certainly not babies any more.  And we'll even have a highschooler this September.  Ack.  So not ready for this.  : / Parenting rule number 57 (yes, that # choice was arbitrary):  Never stop learning.  And number 58: It doesn't get easier as they grow older, just different. 

Three Things Thursday - Things I've learned this week...

Week 1 of Marathon Training and I've already learned so much!

(1) Stick to the schedule if you can - I was a little wishy-washy about my training schedule at the start of the week (still am, admittedly).  As a result, I didn't run Monday (per my original plan), but ran T, W and Th. My "new" plan would have had me run M, T and Th.  Anyhoo, that would have put a rest or cross train day between yesterday's epic 7 miles and today's disastrous 6 (I mean 4.8... cuz that's when I stopped). I know I need a rest day before Saturday's long run, so tomorrow is a big fat lazy day. I'm okay with that. :)
    
Lesson (1)(b) - despite the plan, listen to your body. My revised plan called for 6 miles today. I didn't have it in the tank and cut out short of 5.  It only bothered me for a few minutes.  :) Hoping that Saturday's run is better for it.

(2) Humidity Sucks - Today was the coolest it's been (70ish?) and it was even sprinkling (joy!) but today's run felt terrible!  Then I checked - 91% humidity. What?!?!?  No wonder I couldn't breathe.  Ick.

 Lesson (2)(b) - Rain is awesome, especially when you have barely seen a drop in 2 months.  Usually, I HATE running in the rain (snow is fine) but my grass is dead and brown and I miss seeing green!  In order to tempt fate to continue to rain all day, I continued my run despite the rain AND I didn't bring my umbrella to work.  That should do it.  (update - just checked - it is currently pouring.  YAY)

 

[view of rainy downtown]

(3) Food as Fuel is Harder Than I Thought - Knowing that my mileage is going up steadily for the next 12+ weeks, I'm pushing myself to focus on eating healthier for the purpose of fueling those miles (rather than "losing weight"). Honestly, it's already been more challenging than I expected. As I've expressed before, I've let some healthy habits fall by the wayside and have well... kind of enjoyed eating more or less what I want because I run enough to maintain the weight I've already lost.  And what I have wanted has included far too many empty calories. Boo.  :(  This goal is going to take weeks of work (or at least, paying more attention...) before it feels natural I think.  But it's important for me, marathon or no. Bagels and beer will not be kind to me much further into my 30s, I'm quite sure. :)

Love me some green smoothies and this chocolate almond milk is incredible.  So there's that. 
 

Three Things Thursday - Some Things I Love Lately

A few things I'm really digging lately...

(1) Pro Compression Socks - I don't run the kind of mileage that really necessitates high quality compression wear, but I have come to LOVE these socks post-double-digit long runs.  The Pro Compression brand are snug, but not painfully so, and fairly thin. Bonus - there always seem to be sales or clearance codes floating around, which keeps the socks even more affordable.

(2) These crazy dogs. Perry just turned 1 in May and Poncho 9 in March.  There are many days they drive me c.r.a.z.y. and are more work than the kids.  But there are also lots of days that I don't know what I would do without them. They are incredibly cuddly and sweet. They are not always well behaved, but admittedly that is much more my fault (lack of discipline and time to working on training) than it is their nature. They are both lovers and people-pleasers. 

(3) Summer.  School wrapped up last week and we are off and running with summer fun. The kids spent a few days camping with their grandparents (and had a BLAST). Mark and I took advantage and were able to get in some summer fun ourselves (kayaking!), as well as some productive activities (painting!).  :) We're also just enjoying the warm, relaxing nights.  It will likely be a busy summer, but really looking forward to it!

Three Things Thursday... In Pictures

 (1) The school year is winding down. Some of the kids had field day today.  Love this boy's smile. 

 (2) We recieved a pretty important piece of mail this week.  Our I-800A was approved!  That's step one of the immigration approval we need from the U.S. gov't to bring JS home!  Big smiles all around. :)

(3)  This past weekend, especially Memorial Day, was HOT.  The kids enjoyed the slip n slide, but not nearly as much as Perry (as you can see).  In addition, Monday was Perry-the-Platypus's birthday!  One year old.  Still SUCH a puppy. Sigh. :)

Three Things Thursday - Race Edition

With the Riverbank Run 25k looming over me coming up this weekend, I thought it only fitting to devote my "three things" to the race! :)

(1) I shared a bit about my last long run here.  What I didn't mention is that was my last run, period.  That means, I went about 10 days with no running at all. Initially, while S was in the hospital, it wasn't practical.  Then, I was just ... exhausted. Even the thought of walking my dogs was painful.  Fitting in a 3 mile run was just out of the question.  I still regret this a bit because I think it would have helped me deal with stress.  But, in any event, I didn't run. As this week started and the race inched closer, my doubts began creeping up significantly.  I had this mental block and did not want to run.  I don't know if it had anything to do with the fact I was out running when S was taken to the hospital (?) or just the random fears that creep in any time I go for a period of time without a regular run. But it was weighing on me. Last night Mark really pushed me to go - he knew that I was afraid and if I didn't go running last night, I might not be able to do the race mentally.

(2) So, last night I ran 6.5 miles.  That's a rather long mid-week run for me, but I knew I needed more than my typical 3-4 miles.  Honestly, overall, the run was pretty bad. : /  My pace was slow, my body felt plodding.  I didn't eat a real dinner but I had grabbed a bite here and there and the food was not sitting well at all. :( Everything was irritating me. I had forgotten to take my necklace and earrings off and I hate when they bounce around. So I stopped and took those off. I took my handheld water bottle but wish I hadn't. Annoying. But, after all that, I finished.  And I felt better the last mile and a half than I had the rest of the entire run. That left me feeling less freaked hopeful about running 9 more on Saturday... 

(3) Race Goals - Back in January, I developed a pretty ambitious training plan. I followed it for several weeks.  My initial goal was to run the 25k in under 2 hrs 45 min, which averages to a 10:37 pace.  That's a little fast for my long runs, but seemed like a conservative goal.

Once we started working toward our adoption in February, I grew much more lax with the plan.  Yet, I did a fairly good job about keeping up my long runs, so I was feeling okay. I abandoned all speed work and just focused on getting 2-3 weekly runs in (about 9-10 miles) and one long run on the weekend. Unfortunately, that morphed into 1 long run every OTHER weekend. But ah well.  But my initial goal seemed a bit lofty, especially since I was still walking on many of my long runs.  So I set a new goal of averaging sub 11 min/miles, which would be right around 2 hrs 50 min.  I wasn't too far off this mark when I did 15.5 a few weeks ago.  

However, given the last couple of weeks, I'm tempted to revise my goals again. I want to finish the race. I want to enjoy it. I want to NOT fall apart.  I wish I was comfortable being more ambitious than that, but right now, I have to work with what I've got.  I guess those would be my "a" "b" and "c" goals, with me trying to accept that "c" is the most realistic. I don't want to be disappointed.  Given that I nearly threw in the towel completely yesterday, I simply want to be proud of myself for running the distance, period. Feels a little wimpy to say that, but I know I need to be realistic and find a way to fully enjoy the experience.

In any event, I WILL be crossing that finish line in just over 48 hours.  And someone will place this medal around my neck.  :) And, for now, that's enough for me.

Three Things Thursday: Family Running Edition

(1) Wednesday night, Grace had her first 5k experience with Girls on the Run.  This was a "practice" event - the main celebration is not for several more weeks. But her team rocked it. It was so fun to watch.  This program is simply incredible. Obviously I appreciate the "running" side of things, but it's so much more - teamwork, self esteem, etc.  I would recommend it to anyone. This is the first year we've had it at our schools. I'm so bummed Selam wasn't able to participate in it.

(2) But... Selam may have caught the running bug anyway!  She decided to go out for track this year and has been doing the 100m and 70m dashes, as well as long jump.  Most of the kids she is up against are much bigger and stronger, but her heart is huge.  She pushes herself and has grown a lot.  

She and I went last night to buy her first "real" pair of running shoes which was pretty exciting.  Oh, AND she's running a 5k race with me this weekend!  We are both pretty geeked about that - I mean, who wouldn't want to run through the forest at night chased by zombies?

(3) Even Perry's running has improved!  One reason I talked myself into a puppy last summer was my desire for a furry running buddy.  I have been careful not to push him too hard though - dogs shouldn't run much until they are at least a year old because of their growing bodies and developing joints.  So, for the most part, we've done a mile here and there, 2 miles... Sometimes he does great - keeps a nice solid pace and stays right with me.  Other days he is naughty and all over the roads!  Last week I took him out in the morning and could tell straight off it would be a good run. He was full of energy, so I didn't drop him off at home like I normally do. Instead, he hung in there for all 3.1 miles - his first 5k!  I'm sure he was feeling proud.