Grow into the Person Who Can.

[source: no idea, floating around Facebook?]

This post has been floating around in my mind for weeks, since I first saw the above quote.  Those words really resonated with me and have been a sort of theme for me throughout this marathon training.

Two years ago, I was not able to run a marathon.  I don't even mean that in just the physical sense.  I mean, I was beaten down mentally. I had no confidence that my body could handle such a feat... ever.  My body, more poor habits, my unhealthiness... it all controlled me, not the other way around. Running a mile - let alone 26! - was not in the cards for a person like me.

Going back even farther, I was always that chubby-ish kid. I was super competitive and liked many sports, but was pretty bad at them.  Cat = not an athlete!

But underneath that clumsiness, the fat, the doubts, was my stubbornness. My competitive streak. My desire to make more of myself, somehow. 

When I was in high school, I suffered terrible allergies and asthma.  The mile run at school gave my mom heartburn.  Because I insisted on DOING it.  Even though it would invariably lead to expensive breathing treatments. We were just talking about this the other day. She told me my freshman year she probably spent over $100 so I could run a mile.  And I mean one mile - not a mile daily. We're talking one or two incidents during gym class. Looking back, I'm thankful she made that investment in me and didn't give me a hard time about it, or tell me I couldn't do it. 

Wouldn't it be a great story if that mile turned into a healthy lifestyle of running through my teens and twenties?

Well, I didn't. I sat and read a lot and enjoyed many, many carbs and desserts.

But that mile gave me strength.  I had to store it up for years. Decades. But I brought it out one day, and started running down the block.  Now, I'm fast approaching a 26.2 mile race. I never thought I would run 26.2 miles in my LIFE let alone in one DAY. I was not a person who could run a marathon!  But after weeks and months of slowly changing my body and, more importantly, my mind, I have changed into the person that can achieve that dream. 

Mark shook his head at me a few weeks ago, when I told him what time I had to get up in order to get my 8 mile run in before work. "What have you done with my wife!" He noted that a year ago, I would never have considered waking up at that hour to RUN.  But I'm not the same person anymore. 

I am an athlete.

I am a runner. 

And, by Sunday afternoon on October 21st, I will be a marathoner.