Tuesday, March 6, 2012


When is enough, enough?

What a tough question.  And the answers certainly vary – “enough” cookies is different than “enough” veggies.  Enough exercise vs. enough television. And the answers will likely be different for each question-asker.  What is “enough” for me, may be too much for you, or too little.

As we prepare to grow our family again, I have thought about this question a bit.  Friends have asked me, how do you know you can (or should) add another member to your family?  How do you know that it’s the right decision?

That’s a tough question.  A big, unruly and somewhat scary question.  How do you know?  But all I can do is give our answer… How did we know that we should add to our family again?


We just knew.

[I’ll wait for the eye-rolling to cease.]

I’m not being facetious. Just honest.  I can’t even say whether the realization happened all at once or if it was more of a gradual awakening.  I expect the latter is more accurate. In any event, at some point, it simply became clear that we were capable of parenting another child.

And beyond that – we were not merely “able” to parent another child, but we wanted to.

I don’t mean there is this hole in our life. We are beyond blessed (and busy) with our 5 amazing children, 2 crazy dogs, anti-social cat and 2 full-time jobs. We balance sports and school, careers and family, laundry and homework.  There is no mass void to “fill.” JS isn’t a prescription to a problem.

JS is a very real little boy.  He was not special ordered to fulfill some pre-determined role in our household.  He will come to us with his own trauma and brokenness from what he has lost.  He will likely come to us – as total strangers – wary and afraid.  There may be some very tough times ahead. We understand this.

Yet, he will come to a family that is so very excited to meet him.  So very excited to open our arms and welcome him.  Thus, the thought of extra laundry, homework, expenses and time does not intimidate us.  Rather, the thought of the additional blessings he will bring fills us with joy.

And so, that’s how we knew.  Five children may be “enough” for us… but we have the capacity, love and desire for more than enough.

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