It's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Today was one of those days. Frustrating, but not for a quantifiable reason.  One of those days that I suffered from the creeping pressure of doubt - a fear I'm not doing enough, that I can't possibly do enough.  It's a crummy feeling. I can't help but stare longingly at a curriculum that I "decided" that I just have to have ... Although I think I truly would like it and it might be a good fit for us... I know that my longing glances have more to do with my desire for a "quick fix" than seeing a drastic benefit from taking on such an expensive curriculum.  

I suppose I'm just feeling inadequate and looking for that magic lesson plan to come in and save the day. Except that it doesn't work that way.  Because - for the most part - I have enjoyed the flexibility that we have baked into our version of school. I have enjoyed letting the girls follow their interests.  I have enjoyed that carefree feeling (most days...) where I don't have a checklist, just general goals that we work through.

And the truth is, no curriculum, no matter how highly rated, expensive or pretty, is going to teach my daughter to read English any better or faster. :(  She is so smart... yet, the language barrier is still stunting her, throwing up walls.  I know we have to fight through it - and on the good days, she knows that too. On the bad days, we talk about it, acknowledge that it sucks and it's not fair, but it is what it is.  And we will continue our exercises, continue practicing.

Again and again.

It's time to close the catalog and get to work.  Tomorrow is a new day.